April 09, 2011

Without a face!



Dear No Face,

As easy as it used to feel to write to you, today I find myself feeling as awkward and confused as ever! I have never before felt at a loss for words; when I write to you I don’t think, I just allow myself to feel for you and give way to my feelings to carry me to you, wherever you may be.

Long ago, I thought that once I have found you, I’d run to write the long awaited letter; to a real face for the first time. Back then, I thought I’d have it in me to announce it to you, and let you know that I could finally address you without having to wonder how you’d look like. Now I know it is not as easy as I had initially thought!
 
As I write this letter today, I find myself thinking about a real person I know next to nothing about, even his face I don’t remember as vividly as I’d love to. Strange, isn’t it? I mean, against all odds, I am somehow still addressing a ‘NO FACE’, though you now have a face and an identity! For the record, I hate how it feels; it is a hundred times worse than before.
 
Why did it have to happen this way? Are you punishing me for giving you the title ‘No Face’? Is that why I have to be imprisoned within the circle of not knowing? I guess you might have it your own way this time, but I still have the memory to cling to, for as long as it takes you to realize you are bound to me too!
 
Until that time, and until all the pieces fall into place, I shall leave you to wonder. I have no doubt you do that occasionally, even when you refuse to admit it to yourself. Call it a crazy hunch from a dreamy lady, but that is how it is for both of us; something inexplicably magical is drawing us together, and neither of us knows how to escape it.
 
Can I break this crazy spell? I don’t know!
Can I stop thinking and asking myself what and why and when and where? Again, I don’t know!
 
It is crazy, and it feels as though I am walking on thin ice, and I do have a big question mark that screams ‘YOU’. So, if you know the way out of this mess, do tell!!
 
Dreamer

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