Things I learned

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a friend, titled "Things I learned in life", which she quoted from a blog she came across by coincidence. I was inspired by what I have had the pleasure to indulge in. I believe you should all read it, and judge for yourself whether or not you could relate to it. Enjoy!

"Things I learned in life"

• I've learned- That you cannot make someone love you; all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
• I've learned- That no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
• I've learned- That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds you destroy it.
• I've learned - That it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
• I've learned- That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
• I've learned- That you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.
• I've learned- That it's not what happens to people that is important. It's what they do about it.
• I've learned- That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• I've learned- That no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
• I've learned- That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
• I've learned- That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• I've learned- That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
• I've learned- That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• I've learned- That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• I've learned- That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
• I've learned- That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• I've learned- That learning to forgive takes practice.
• I've learned- That there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
• I've learned- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• I've learned- That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
• I've learned- That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get up.
• I've learned- That sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• I've learned- That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• I've learned- That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
• I've learned- That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you have celebrated.
• I've learned-That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
• I've learned- That your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't just biological, but of the soul.
• I've learned- That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• I've learned- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• I've learned- That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• I've learned- That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• I've learned- That sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
• I've learned- That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• I've learned- That sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
• I've learned- That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• I've learned- That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• I've learned- That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• I've learned- That no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt in the process.
• I've learned- That there are many ways of falling in love and staying in love.
• I've learned- That no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
• I've learned- That no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the time you need them most.
• I've learned- That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• I've learned- That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
• I've learned- That writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
• I've learned- That the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
• I've learned- That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• I've learned- That the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
• I've learned- That although the word "love" can have many different meaning; it loses value when over used.
• I've learned- That it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

A heart for sale.!

What do we know about hearts?

I know my question sounds a little weird, but if I were to ask you to define 'Heart' for me, what would your answer be? Rationally, the answer would be a scientific and medical definition, and that is:  "the viscus of cardiac muscle that maintains the circulation of the blood". My guess is that such a simple definition is what could pop into one's head if asked such question. Well, I am not really looking for a scientific answer for my question, for it is far from what I want to say here.

When I was a kid, I learned everything I needed to know about hearts, for educational reasons. What I didn't know back then, and what the teacher hasn't explained to us is the fact that hearts are breakable. It is funny the way we process information and knowledge in our minds as children, and how we see and perceive things ever so simply and innocently. Had I known that a heart not only bleeds, but breaks easily, I would have gone to all lengths to immunize it against hurt and suffering. If I had known that as a child, I would have taught myself, much earlier, not to succumb to good-heartedness and emotional generosity, I would have avoided empathy whenever I could, and shown nonchalance to those who deserved it.

Just for the record, it does not have to be a man that has brought me to this conclusion. Yes, it is love that weakens you all the time, but one does not have to be 'in love' to be heartbroken. My story is different; I am not in love, but alas heartbroken!

A friend can break your heart, and they do it so bad you cannot break free from the pain, no matter how hard you tried!

I wonder, why is it so easy for some to inflict pain on people who have opened their hearts to them and embraced them at all times, without stopping for a moment to think twice?
Why do we have our eyes wide shut when we shouldn't!
Why do we keep falling in the same trap once and twice! Maybe it is sheer naivety, or exaggerated good intentions!

At this point, I find myself unwilling to process it all in my mind; I am far too weak to search for answers I don't have, or maybe cannot handle at the moment; given my current state of heart.

Once upon a time, I was told that you always get as much as you give. I believed the fairytale, but today I think it is too good to be true, for some people just don't realize that hearts are breakable, and MUST be handled with utmost care.

That is him!

 

I have been asked, once, by a follower of my blog about my own checklist for 'Mr. Right'. He was interested to know what I look for in a man, and what could make someone qualify as the perfect match for me, after reading my post titled "Her checklist, and my checklist". At the time, I promised to dedicate a whole post to answer that question; I think it is only fair that I do so because for one thing a promise is a promise. The other thing that made me decide to write this post is my knowledge that some of the people I know think I am looking for the impossible, and that I am asking far too much of a guy! Honestly, there is nothing impossible or hard to find in my checklist.

The first thing I need to stress here is that I am not looking for the 'PERFECT' catch; I am certain that no one is perfect and everybody in this wide world has flaws. Looking for perfection is a delusion, and I am certainly not after delusions. What I seek and hope to find is my perfect match, and there is a huge difference between wanting a perfect catch and my perfect match, whom I want to be perfect for me as person, and suit my mentality and fulfill my emotional needs and go in harmony with my lifestyle as a whole. It is a fact that some people are definitely ill-suited and others do click from the very first instant they cross each other's paths. Is that even close to impossible? Everybody wants to be a hundred percent certain that they choose right, and that they click with their partners. I am waiting for that click, and I cannot force my mind to react or make a decision unless I get that inexplicable and emotionally puzzling feeling that is said to be all a lady needs to know she has met the one.

Now I know you must be wondering who could qualify as Mr. Right. So, let me tell you! The thing I know about myself, and people who know me in person do see in me as well, is that I am a romantic, and a little far from being realistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Having a romantic and an emotionally generous partner is very important to me. I like to portray myself as a flower that could fade away and perish if not properly nurtured; emotionally that is. I love to be pampered and handled delicately by my partner, not spoiled of course, for I know men don't have enough patience to attend to their ladies' wants and needs all the time. I'd be naive to think such men exist, wouldn't I?

Here is another thing, I want a man who mentally stands with me on the same platform! I am not saying I want a total intellectual, but we have to at least be mentally compatible. I am an analytical person; I like to see into things and think carefully before I take a step forward, and I want my partner to like that about me, so he doesn't think I am being annoying or sophisticated. I am a thinker; my friends and relatives say so about me! I like to weigh matters and think thoroughly before I react or make a judgment about anything. Am I being a perfectionist when it comes to that?? I write, and dream of becoming a great author almost every day, so I expect my partner to respect that and admire it, not discourage me or make fun of my aspirations! I want him to understand me and provide me with as much support as that I would give and take interest in the things that define me as a person. I have this strong belief that being discouraged or taken lightly when it comes to what I want to do with my life only means there’d be this huge and impassible void between the two of us, and that a vital part of me will gradually die, as a result of which I’d either become someone I don’t recognize or resent my partner for taking that away from me; for not seeing or understanding what I want him to render special and different and characteristic of me. 

Unfortunately, our society is full of men who only want to change their partners according to their likes and preferences, and transform them into symbols of a fixed image they have in mind; as though we have no will or freedom of choice, or a say in what we look forward to having in a life-transforming step such as marriage! Don’t we all dream of being liked and chosen just the way we are; with all our qualities and flaws? Why change another according to what we want? Why not accept them and love them without having to impose our beliefs and ideas and mindset on them? Is that what partnership is about? Is it something we should accept and give in to, or else we’d be called arrogant and demanding??  Frankly, I don’t understand how so many men think and act as such! And I wouldn’t want to give up ‘me’ just to satisfy someone’s ego! I want my future partner to choose me for who I am, and love me insanely just the way I am. I do have a strong mind, but I am not arrogant or uncharacteristically stubborn just for the sake of standing out as the ‘Hard to please’ kind of woman. All I am asking from a man is to approach and see me right. All I want is for him to decide and believe that I am the 'ONE’ and ‘ONLY’ for him. It takes charm and intelligence, and I do like these two qualities in a man.            

I am not asking for an extraordinary man, all I want is the one I perceive as extraordinary, and right and perfect for me, for who I am. I am not hard to please, or a lady whose heart is hard to win, as much as I am a lady who seeks to be charmed by her perfect match; by the one I have always imagined could truly sweep me off my feet and take my breath away and totally dazzle me, not by out of this world qualities, but by being a true gentleman, a man of respect, morals, and genuine inner beauty.  

All I want is to choose right, and be chosen by the man I pray for my heart to recognize, and beat for at the right moment, and eventually whisper to me “That is him.. That is the one”! 

Cupid, hit me.!

It is 'Valentine's Day'!!

Yes.. It is the day that people from all over the world wait for; expectant, enthusiastic, and somehow anxious! Men and women of different ages and beliefs spare no effort to make this one day a 'once in a life time' event, and a day to always be remembered and celebrated with zeal and a passion that knows no limits. Of course some of them have a 'Valentine', and others don't, which makes all the difference! Those who have would expect their partners to go to all lengths to make the day as special as it could get, while those who have not might feel a little sorry for themselves, and would most probably pray for a miracle to make the dream come true! I know it because I have heard it around me for so many times I lost count. Apparently, everybody wants a 'Valentine'!

Though Valentine's Day is not an occasion to be celebrated in Islam, thousands of Muslims do celebrate it extravagantly. They wait and plan for it, and it means a great deal to them. It is the day on which some hearts soar with love and anticipation for memorable moments, and memorable words.

I don't have a 'Valentine', and many ladies out there don't either. Yet, I am happy for all those who have. I heart you people and wish you a life, not just a day, full of love, and that kind of passion that does not wait for a day once a year to come to life and thrive along the way. Don't wait for the 'Valentine's Day' to be happy and love and live, make every day a Valentine's.

To all my ladies out there, don't pray for Cupid to hit you, for it will only happen when God sees it is the right time for you to meet your other half. Just be happy and think about the love that is all around you. I cannot say that I don't want to fall in love, or that I don't think about it often, but deep down I know he is out there, and that he will come my way only when it is the time.

For now, enjoy the day everybody..

Wish you love.. Love.. And more love..

I belong here..

Whenever I think of blogging, I get this inexplicable rush of excitement, mingled with peace and comfort. Yes, when I blog; when I post a thought, a notion, or simply speak out something I need to set free, I feel just as free; as though I have been blessed with the chance to breathe fresh air, away from all and everything that could pollute that freshness.

Maybe I don't come here as often as I should, but that does not change the fact that it is where I belong, and where I don't think twice before I willingly let you all in on my world, on me; on a person some of you knows next to nothing about! As I am back here today, not thinking while writing this; only giving in to the  beauty of the present moment, I feel fresh and alive; like all my worries and anxieties have been driven away by a force stronger than I could fathom.

A blog is a friend, it is a loyal companion that is always there for you, at your times of need and when you think the world has turned its back on you. A blog  is a good friend almost anytime you crave a good listener to whatever it is you need to say. At times, you just need to babble, scream, nag or even speak gibberish! At times, you feel lonelier than ever, more confused than ever. At times, one feels as though they have lost all ability to talk, so they write! They express themselves through their words. When I woke up this morning, I knew instantly that I needed to write, I needed to blog. As much as I'd want to make you see it all through my eyes, today I am wordless than ever. Still, I need to write.. I need to be here!

This might be the case with some of you, and for others it could a whole different story, yet I believe that despite all our differences, we somehow share the same passion. When we blog, when we take the time to sit and post something, regardless of what it is, we express a unique passion towards what we do and who are when we do it.

Some of you would understand this; would understand me, and some might not. Some would see through me, and others wouldn't! Nevertheless, I am here, and will always come back to the one and only place that has an infinite capacity to listen. So many things I know, and so many things I don't, but I am here.. I am here because I love to blog, and I love me when I blog.

I am here because I know I belong here..
 

Where do we go from there??

Sometimes, unexpected things happen to us; events we haven’t planned or even thought could occur to us at a certain point in time. Yet, they do happen, and when they do, they often take us by surprise. 

At first, we question whether or not we should allow ourselves to be whisked away by the suddenness and beauty of that ‘event’, whether we should begin to hope and see beyond what the eyes could see! We start to make plans, we start to hope, and dream!

Usually,  we take it all for granted and assume everything could, or would, happen according to how we have always seen it once upon a dream, only because we had an initial hunch about it; a so-called ‘CLICK’! We don’t think that maybe, just maybe, we are being delusional and over optimistic; in which case we don’t brace ourselves for the painful disappointment that follows the ‘Oh so sweet a feeling’!

Sometimes we put too much hope in a dream, an idea, a fantasy we have long waited for to come true, and people we find likable enough to believe they fit into that big picture of ours! Ironically, it all goes wrong; leaving behind a mental and emotional mess; a broken heart and a wounded ego! Only when the storm passes and we are once again able to see clearly, we realize that not all dreams come true, and what the eye sees is not necessarily the ultimate truth. Apparently, we only see what we want to see, and believe what we want to believe.

Standing at a crossroads today, I wonder why when we start to hope only a little, all hope is crushed mercilessly! Why do we have to cry when what we really crave is a heartfelt laughter, a hand to hold, and a heart to embrace for eternity? Why are we often in for disappointment and heartache when we least expect it?

When we stumble and fall,,

When we cannot hold back the tears,,

When we hurt a lot we cannot find the right words to say,,

Where do we go from there??