February 16, 2011

That is him!

I have been asked, once, by a follower of my blog about my own checklist for 'Mr. Right'. He was interested to know what I look for in a man, and what could make someone qualify as the perfect match for me, after reading my post titled "Her checklist, and my checklist". At the time, I promised to dedicate a whole post to answer that question; I think it is only fair that I do so because for one thing a promise is a promise. The other thing that made me decide to write this post is my knowledge that some of the people I know think I am looking for the impossible, and that I am asking far too much of a guy! Honestly, there is nothing impossible or hard to find in my checklist.

The first thing I need to stress here is that I am not looking for the 'PERFECT' catch; I am certain that no one is perfect and everybody in this wide world has flaws. Looking for perfection is a delusion, and I am certainly not after delusions. What I seek and hope to find is my perfect match, and there is a huge difference between wanting a perfect catch and my perfect match, whom I want to be perfect for me as person, and suit my mentality and fulfill my emotional needs and go in harmony with my lifestyle as a whole. It is a fact that some people are definitely ill-suited and others do click from the very first instant they cross each other's paths. Is that even close to impossible? Everybody wants to be a hundred percent certain that they choose right, and that they click with their partners. I am waiting for that click, and I cannot force my mind to react or make a decision unless I get that inexplicable and emotionally puzzling feeling that is said to be all a lady needs to know she has met the one.

Now I know you must be wondering who could qualify as Mr. Right. So, let me tell you! The thing I know about myself, and people who know me in person do see in me as well, is that I am a romantic, and a little far from being realistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Having a romantic and an emotionally generous partner is very important to me. I like to portray myself as a flower that could fade away and perish if not properly nurtured; emotionally that is. I love to be pampered and handled delicately by my partner, not spoiled of course, for I know men don't have enough patience to attend to their ladies' wants and needs all the time. I'd be naive to think such men exist, wouldn't I?

Here is another thing, I want a man who mentally stands with me on the same platform! I am not saying I want a total intellectual, but we have to at least be mentally compatible. I am an analytical person; I like to see into things and think carefully before I take a step forward, and I want my partner to like that about me, so he doesn't think I am being annoying or sophisticated. I am a thinker; my friends and relatives say so about me! I like to weigh matters and think thoroughly before I react or make a judgment about anything. Am I being a perfectionist when it comes to that?? I write, and dream of becoming a great author almost every day, so I expect my partner to respect that and admire it, not discourage me or make fun of my aspirations! I want him to understand me and provide me with as much support as that I would give and take interest in the things that define me as a person. I have this strong belief that being discouraged or taken lightly when it comes to what I want to do with my life only means there’d be this huge and impassible void between the two of us, and that a vital part of me will gradually die, as a result of which I’d either become someone I don’t recognize or resent my partner for taking that away from me; for not seeing or understanding what I want him to render special and different and characteristic of me. 

Unfortunately, our society is full of men who only want to change their partners according to their likes and preferences, and transform them into symbols of a fixed image they have in mind; as though we have no will or freedom of choice, or a say in what we look forward to having in a life-transforming step such as marriage! Don’t we all dream of being liked and chosen just the way we are; with all our qualities and flaws? Why change another according to what we want? Why not accept them and love them without having to impose our beliefs and ideas and mindset on them? Is that what partnership is about? Is it something we should accept and give in to, or else we’d be called arrogant and demanding??  Frankly, I don’t understand how so many men think and act as such! And I wouldn’t want to give up ‘me’ just to satisfy someone’s ego! I want my future partner to choose me for who I am, and love me insanely just the way I am. I do have a strong mind, but I am not arrogant or uncharacteristically stubborn just for the sake of standing out as the ‘Hard to please’ kind of woman. All I am asking from a man is to approach and see me right. All I want is for him to decide and believe that I am the 'ONE’ and ‘ONLY’ for him. It takes charm and intelligence, and I do like these two qualities in a man.            

I am not asking for an extraordinary man, all I want is the one I perceive as extraordinary, and right and perfect for me, for who I am. I am not hard to please, or a lady whose heart is hard to win, as much as I am a lady who seeks to be charmed by her perfect match; by the one I have always imagined could truly sweep me off my feet and take my breath away and totally dazzle me, not by out of this world qualities, but by being a true gentleman, a man of respect, morals, and genuine inner beauty.  

All I want is to choose right, and be chosen by the man I pray for my heart to recognize, and beat for at the right moment, and eventually whisper to me “That is him.. That is the one”! 


peter skyhouse said...

As an old old man looking back I have burned with passion with the" perfect " person many times. I was a different person each time, for I grew and changed. I was selected by someone sometimes and they selected well. And other times I reached out and she said yes. And then we grew into love or away from it. I am glad for both. But not one of us is 'perfect."
We are alive, living for love. Celebrate your life and all the loves in it.

Miss Dreamer said...


It is a pleasure to have your comment in my blog for the first time. I understand what you are saying and I agree with you that indeed no one is perfect! It is just that there has to be someone perfect for me; not perfect as in 'perfect'; with no flaws, but perfect for me. It has to do with that crazy 'click'! And it is driving me crazy;D

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