For the memories

A few days ago, one of my colleagues showed me her graduation album, which she had especially designed and made for her and her family on the special and memorable occasion of her graduation from the Masters Program. The album was extraordinary and dazzling in every way. I enjoyed flipping through it and laughing at the specific meaning of each photo, as narrated by the girl. While she was telling us her story, the story of the time she had; making the whole event memorable and worthy enough of every single tear and laughter alike, I could not help but think that it is always us who truly create memories and make something big or small out of them! Her graduation could have passed as any ordinary event, if she had planned for things to go that way, but in reality she had not; she chose to make it the best moment of her life, a moment to always be remembered with joy and pride!

Her feeling was there in her smile, and the smiles of her family members and her friends. By the looks of it, I knew instantly that she had the time of her life that very day. I did not wait for her to verify my presumption; I knew it before I heard it from her. When I retired to my office later on, I found myself philosophizing about the true origin of our memories, and the way we choose to capture and solidify the meaning and significance of each one of our endless memories; and keep them there in a safe place in our minds and hearts, where we can always go back to them and sometimes do a lot of reminiscence. It is amazing indeed, how a single photo can trigger a lot of feelings and thoughts in the blink of an eye. Sometimes, one could do as little as look at a photo to be swamped by feelings of nostalgia and a strong craving that almost nothing can force to fade away!

It is utterly mesmerizing how our lives are made of a series of memories, which gather and pile up to create a lifetime of joy, happiness, hurt, anger, serenity, comfort, peace, hope, despair, pessimism, frustration, love, passion and so many other sentiments that I just cannot list here.

That day, that girl managed to make me think a lot and reminisce more than I thought I could do in one day! I found my mind going back to dwell on forgotten things, incidents and feelings I thought I had left behind; along with the memory they resembled! I did not know that my mind was capable of doing all that reminiscence, which eventually caused my heart to swell with feelings I could not describe or analyze at the time.

I wonder, though, whether we make our memories…
Or whether they make us who we are now.. today.. this moment!

The city that doesn’t sleep

I know it has been a while since I have provided you with a new post to read, and I sure do know that May has not been an active month for me when it comes to writing on my blog. Anyways, what matters right now is the reason I have not written anything the past week! Guess what, I was outside the country, and guess where I was? I was in Egypt! Yes yes, I finally visited ‘Om El Donia’ as they call it; Mother of Life, that is how almost everybody refers to it. 

Before setting foot there, I have always thought of Egypt as the country I can strongly relate to, but only through the Egyptian movies that I just love to watch and never tire of watching. I have to say that being there, in the heart of Egypt; specifically in Cairo, has opened my eyes to the true beauty of this wonderfully rich and alive country. I was taken aback by the power and magic floating in its very air. I felt emotionally attached to something I could not put my finger on; I just let myself be! Something magical was there in the streets, in the air, in the buildings, and even in the smiles and looks of the people roaming the streets; whether aimlessly or purposefully. The least thing I could say to describe my state of mind and heart at the time is to simply say that I was utterly mesmerized.

I never dreamed that I would have this strong a reaction towards Egypt in specific. To be honest, I have always been told that the first thing to strike you about Cairo is the noise and horrible traffic and human congestion and crowdedness! Well, I did notice that and saw the poor state of so many buildings and houses and streets, and I also saw what extreme poverty has done to so many people there, but that did nothing to discourage me or take away my enjoyment and the strong attraction I felt for that amazing city! I looked at everything around me in awe and wonder.

I have to tell you that despite the fact that I am quite a traveler who has been to so many wonderful countries before and fell madly in love with them, Egypt has proved to be quite something else; something different and unique in its own sense. It is true that I only stayed there for five days, but that was enough to make me know for sure that I would definitely go back there, only I would stay much longer. Now that I am home, it feels strange and I have this strong and overwhelming sense of nostalgia. I just have not had enough of all the magic I found there; in the Nile, Hay El Hussein, Khan al Khalil and many other wonderful places. 

We stayed at the Ramses Hilton, and my room was on the 22nd floor. Believe me, the view was simply breathtaking! I found myself able to stand there for as long as I could, just staring out the window at the vast and grandeur city stretching endlessly in front of me; granting my eyes a sight not to ever be forgotten.

 
This, above, is a picture I took from my room. Even now as I look at it again, I can feel myself standing there once again; taking in the scene that I know by heart now that I have been there.  

Now I know that the places I have been to during my 5 day stay there is nothing compared to the many places I have heard about and wanted so much to see, but I still enjoyed my trip and has so much fun! I went to the Pyramids, and I have to say that being there and seeing everything I have only known through books and documentary films has made Egypt look the more majestic to me. When I stood there staring at the Sphinx, transfixed, I realized that Egypt’s historical heritage is way greater than any other treasure. Apart from my unforgettable trip to the Pyramids, I went to Hay El Hussein and Khan Al Khalil, where I roamed its ancient alleys and had memorable moments that I still remember with a smile of true pleasure.

                         That is me with my parents (Right to left: Me, dad and mum)

One of the things I won’t forget is going on board of the Scarabee Nile Dinner Cruiser, where they had a belly dancing show and another interesting show which I don’t really know what they call. I had the time of my life there because I had the chance of sitting on the roof of the cruiser and watching the Nile giving life to everything around it, including us people. The weather was amazing and the breeze so cold that I had the feeling it was the beginning of winter! I did not want that trip to ever end, and I wished I could stare at the Nile and hear its soft roar forever!

Amongst the other things I did, I ate at the fish market, had ‘Kushari’ at Abu Tareq, drank mango juice at the famous place ‘Farghali’ and of course tried the pigeons at that place called ‘Farahat’, which is by the way the most famous place for serving pigeons, and oh my they were more delicious than Any food I have ever eaten!  

As simple as strolling along the Nile may sound, it is the one thing that will always remain engraved in my memory; reminding me of how happy I was to simply take that walk and see the glow on the faces of the people taking in the scene of the Nile and enjoying the feeling of being part of it and its magic. I can still hear the songs they played there in my head, and remember how I felt just being in the taxi and looking at all the things we passed by, no matter how ordinary they seemed to some people.

Now that I am back here, I have this strangest feeling that a huge  part of me stayed there, alongside the  Nile; enjoying a life that is so much different from my life here. Even the Egyptian songs sound different to my ears here; they sound as though they belong to a different life and a different place.

Should you think that it is magic that Egypt possesses, you are absolutely right in your thinking, for it is pure magic that you will find there, in the streets and alleys and certainly in the ringing of the laughs you will hear everywhere you go.

I cannot say what it is exactly that has drawn me this much to this country, but what I know for sure is the fact  that I will go back there and enjoy it all once again. All I can tell you now is that Egypt has a life of its own, a life that will take you under its spell and bind you to it so strong that you will never know how to break free from its hold on your mind and heart and soul. 

The Nile is still calling out to me; that I know, and I know that I will answer its call sooner than I think. It is amazing how, in the blink of an eye, I have become one with a country buzzing with life every second of the day, and how I do not seem to be able to close my eyes without seeing the glow of a city that does not sleep!

Cairo; it is certainly the city that does not fall asleep, and the place that will always give you something to think about and hold on to.    

Here is a collection of photos I took in my trip, enjoy!

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Daddy Long Legs

Daddy Long Legs, or 'Sa7ib el thil el 6aweel', how many of you still remember this amazing series with a wide smile on their face? I still do! And every time it comes to my mind, I get this fantastic feeling that spontaneously puts a big big smile on my lips. I was a huge fan of 'Daddy Long Legs' and I swear I would still watch it like I never did; if only they would show it again.

I cannot remember how old I was when I watched it the first time; probably at the primary school, but I can tell you my cousins, my brothers and I were all crazy about it. I remember how all of us would gather in the sitting room in my aunt's house, with that long and narrow corridor where they put the TV, and just have our eyes glued to the screen like we have never seen anything of the likes before. We would sit close to each other; well the place was so small, and the room would always look crammed with the whole bunch of us there, not wanting to move an inch or take so much as a breath. Oh my God, how I would do anything to have that only memory come back to me.

You know what the funny thing was? My aunt; at seeing us so taken with the story, would always comment that the whole show was not meant for kids, and that the storyline itself was not at all suitable for our age! Of course our normal reaction was to look the comment over and continue being mesmerized and spellbound by Daddy Long Legs!

Though this is now nothing but a beautiful memory of my amazing childhood days, I still feel as though it is not totally gone. It is locked somewhere inside my mind and heart; providing me with a unique sense of belonging and making me complete in a strange way! It is a symbol of pure innocence and peace to me; it reminds me of the anxiety-free times! Back then, we cared about nothing but having fun and watching TV all day and playing and having a blast simply by enjoying ourselves to the utmost.

I can tell you that we were completely taken with 'Daddy Long Legs'! Of course the love story in the show was all new to us; made us girls beam stupidly all the while! We were all tears when the final episode arrived! I was like: Oh My God they got married and will live happily ever after!

How beautiful those days and those memories were! I find myself remembering them constantly. Maybe I will get my wish, though, and one smart channel would miraculously broadcast this series again!

Another wish on my never ending list of wishes!

Here is a reminder of Daddy Long Logs; scenes from the show, with a beautiful song in the background that says it all.

Enjoy!

You are mine

 

While writing this, I am listening to a song named “6ameny”; meaning assure me of your well being, or tell me you are alright, by the famous Kuwaiti singer Abdulla Al Ruwaished. It is a very beautiful romantic song, which also has its share of melancholy and a touch of nostalgia.

Well, for me the song is a link to a memory that goes back to around 4 or 5 years. At the time, I coincidentally came across a novel whose writer used to publish chapters from on a regular basis, in a Saudi Forum. The author is a Saudi doctor by the name of Mona Al Marshood. The novel itself is called ‘Anta Li”, this is translated as ‘You are mine’. For anyone who feels interested in reading it, I won’t reveal any details about it so as not to spoil the thrill of reading it without knowing anything about it.

I cannot say what really drew me to it back then, but I seriously became so hooked to it to the extent that I spent continuous hours just reading chapters and chapters without so much as a break! I was literally glued to the screen and caught in a spill that did not free me until I was done with reading all the chapters she published online. However, after reaching chapter 43, she made an announcement that she would stop publishing online until she gets the whole thing printed on paper, due to the unpleasant fact that her story was stolen and published in different forums with other names! So to preserve her rights, she wanted to have it printed so the truth would remain that she was the real author. You can imagine how upset we got! Her readers were like thousands from all over the world and no one had the patience to wait. Our wait dragged for months, and the months became a year or two! At a certain point, I stopped waiting and decided to give up on the whole thing.

As the time went by, I heard that the whole thing was finally published! People had to register in order to get a copy of the book from Saudi Arabia, particularly at the official signing of the book. I could not get my copy because I was late and they ran out of copies. I asked one of my Saudi friends to go the bookshop that sold the book and get me one, but they had none! I was desperate, and got really upset knowing I would not be able to finish reading the thing! However, some of those who did get the book scanned the remaining chapters and put them online for the rest of us to read! So, I did finally finish it:) I loved it, really loved it.

Anyways, back to the song I am listening to at the moment, when I first started reading the story, I had this same song playing, and I don’t know why, but it was just the perfect song at the time to make me get into the story deep; real deep. I put it on the repeat mode, and I did not even get sick of listening to it over and over again. Of course I cried like a baby throughout the read, and the song contributed to that.

Now, I cannot listen to it without remembering those days, and the story, and all the details, and the feelings it evoked in me back then. I can literally close my eyes and relive it all, moment by moment. It is amazing how we can always link a particular song or melody to a particular incident. We can always go back in time merely by listening to it again.

This memory, and this song, always makes me smile, despite the sense of sadness it beholds. I am the kind of person who has a connection with certain kinds of songs, each of which means something different to me. The biggest sentimental, I know! LOL.

For those of you interested in listening to it or watching the clip, here it is! Enjoy:)

2010

As the year 2010 is getting closer by the minute, I find myself becoming more and more pensive, eerily speculative, yet hopeful in a way or another. The passing of time has never ceased to fill me with this sense of fearful and also hopeful anticipation; as though my heart and my senses are in constant expectation of an unknown occurrence whose coming to life will either turn me into a complete pessimist or the total opposite.

Time has this magical inexplicable substance that has the power to alter your life, disorganize it, mess with it at times, possibly change you and eventually fill you with endless, even contradictory notions to dwell on and analyze thoroughly; mostly in an attempt to understand the philosophy of life, regardless of how crazy and mind blowing it could get at times.

The clock is ticking, that I know, and with every ticking sound from your clocks and mine, we get closer to 2010. Soon enough 2009 will become a history, probably a collection of memories; pleasant and unpleasant alike! We are likely to drift backwards in time; in sweet remembrance maybe, or else in pure and utter nostalgia to moments we refuse to let go of.

It is only us who have the will and the ability to decide what to make of time, and what to become in time. We can always be hopeful, fearful, optimistic, pessimistic, productive, sluggish, melancholic, sentimental, emotional, apathetic, enthusiastic, bitter, strong-willed or anything  else we choose to be. It is us who truly make the change, and it is us who can paint the upcoming year “2010”; only a few days away, with whatever color we choose. We can paint it bright and glamorous and beautiful like a rainbow, or opt for dull, lifeless! Believe me, it is always us who can inflict CHANGE around us.  

Now that 2009 is bidding us farewell, I find myself looking back at all its events and occurrences, up to the tiniest little details. I cannot say it was a great year, in all honesty it was not my year at all! Nevertheless, it was eventful. I know that at the end of 2008, I had big expectations for 2009, I had plentiful of dreams and hopes and ambitions. Like everybody else, I so much wanted to believe that 2009 would be my year. However, I was in for disappointments and a portion of heartache.

I cannot say that 2009 turned out to be totally horrible and miserable, but it was not perfect. My only consolation was and still is my knowledge that nothing is perfect and nothing goes to our liking all the time. We should always brace ourselves for some disappointments and moments of unhappiness, which eventually make the moments of true happiness much tastier and definitely worth the wait. When such a moment arrives, trust me we will know how to value it and appreciate it they way we should.

Throughout 2009, I had my moments of peace, happiness and content and others of pain, hurt and despair. I did lose hope on so many occasions, yet I had moments of self-discovery and others of enlightenment. I learned a lot. I cried a lot, but I also laughed my head off so many other times I lost count. Now that it is coming to an end, I can clearly see that nothing that had happened during these 12 months occurred for no reason, for I am who I am now because of everything I have been through up until this very moment. 

Today, I want to take this chance to thank everybody who has and is still making me a happier person. To the people whose presence in my life has made all the difference. To those whose only existence makes me determined and hopeful enough to make it through today, and every day.

To my parents:

I am the luckiest person to have you by my side at all times. Dad, your warm fatherly embrace and the kiss you still plant on my cheek everyday is a priceless blessing. Mom, your beautiful smile and the sound of your laughter is music to my ears; you give life to life.

My amazing brothers,,

Ali: You are a wonderful brother. Guess what, I have a feeling that this year will –Inshalla- be your year. Well, it is about time you got married, eh? Come on I want to become an aunt!

Abdulla: You will make a lady very lucky one day. If I could find someone as amazing, gorgeous and perfect as you, believe me I would not have invented No Face!

Mohammed: YOU know I love you so much. You are unique, and please don’t take my constant teasing personally;P

Auntie Nano, Koki, Anoos, Nabooh, Adool and Layla,,
Every single moment I spend amongst you all makes me happier. Thank you for making our times together unique and joyful.

To all my friends,,
A huge thank you for always being there for me, even before I call out to you.

(Umm Ameer): Whoever says that angels don’t exist on earth should really come and see you!  I am  immeasurably loved and  forever blessed because I have you; my dear guardian angel with the golden heart. One more thing, a real prince is waiting for you somewhere out there; a real “Ameer”;D 

(Khadija): Thank you for seeing the best there was in me and being with me through thick and thin, from early childhood until this moment.  For this solid friendship I shall always be thankful. 

(Hadeel): You are a true blessing. It was such a lucky day the day I came across Shelfari, for it was what led me to you. Can you see how lucky I am? Thank you for being you, and may 2010 bring you lots of smiles and blessings.

(Afrah): Thank you for believing in me when I did not believe in me!

(Amal & Hana): The best thing that happened to me at work was meeting you two. Do you remember how much we used to laugh? Bless you!

(Khulood): Thank you for being such a great cousin and an amazing friend.

(Amool): Whenever I remember your smile and your contagious laughter, I know that life is indeed beautiful. Keep smiling!

(Mariam, Nada, Marioom, Meme, Faika, Khokha, Farah, Layoool, Maroom, Shosho, Nadoy, Fatoom, and all my other friends):
Thank you for your sunny presence in my life. I love you all.

(H): Although you might never know this, you have given my heart reason enough to dream! So thank you!

(No Face): It is about time you showed up!!

To all my cyber friends,,
A big thank you for your constant support and encouraging.


Happy New Year everybody and May Allah Bless You All and  grant you all your dreams and wishes. 

I Remember...

I still remember how it felt like to be a child; a young soul free of all sorts of restraints and worries! Those times were the best of my life, the best I could recall now that I am older, and the best to truly paint these words here with the most vibrant and beautiful colors ever!

Reminiscence of those buoyant days usually comes to me unbeckoned. I never put my mind into doing this, into remembering; memories just play themselves in my head ever so sweetly, ever so discreetly, over and over again; leaving me unguarded and unprotected against their charm and that magical spell they cast upon me every time they decide to barge into my mind and heart!

Now that I am 26, I can still remember how it felt like to be that girl of 10 or 12 years of age! I can literally close my eyes and go back in time to the days when I would sleep over at my auntie's house during the summer holidays and have the best time of my life, as it did feel so back then! For me, those days had been something I would not have traded for anything in the world! I mean, getting the chance to spend days and days with my cousins, all 6 of them, when I had no sisters myself and instead 3 brothers; that was something by the way!

I remember how my mom & dad would let me sleep over for a night or two, and when the time came for me to go back home I would always end up crying and begging them for another day or two! My stay, however, would most of the time stretch into a week or even 10 days! I mean, my bursting into tears did always find its way into mom's and dad's hearts;P

You might wonder what made me crave being with my cousins so badly, so desperately; I would simply say it was the spontaneity which marked every single act of fun we did come up with at the time. It is amazing how we managed to occupy our time with so many different activities, which left us almost with no time at all to feel bored or fed up! Sometimes we would do nothing, nothing at all, and yet we still felt content and happy to enjoy the moment of togetherness.

One of the things I remember that we enjoyed doing very much was turning on the radio on Emirates FM, usually in the afternoon at around 4, and listen to it till prayer time! It is funny now that I remember it, but honestly that gave us so much fun then. Well, we would sit in one of my cousins' room and look at the endless stream of cars moving at all directions on the main road, which is a few meters away from my auntie's house. The house by the way overlooks a spacious open yard, after which comes the main highway, and in the middle there used to be a big palm tree, which is no longer there! That was the view we would stare at for hours, all the while listening to songs and drifting away to a place where we could be all alone with our dreams & fantasies. One of my cousins, who is now married and has 3 children, would just sit on the bed and lose herself to her own personal thoughts which we could not fathom at the time; given the fact that she was not that much talkative.

Another thing we did do everyday, amongst so many other activities, was going to the nearby cold store and buying loads of snacks to eat while watching TV! This is still something I enjoy doing occasionally;)

The night time, however, was another story all together! We would never go to bed early of course! What we did instead was gather; Nada, Amal and myself in Amal's room, lie each on her well prepared sleeping space and talk about anything and everything! Hours would pass by without any of us realizing how close we came to staying up till 3 or 4 am, sometimes even till the sun rises! Apparently we never came close to being short of conversations, for there was always something to chat about no matter how trivial or nonsensical it seemed or felt. You know how girls are; they always seem to find something to talk about.

So, because of staying up late, we would end up waking up a little after noon time! To be exact, at lunch time most of the time! Then, the day would repeat itself, time would pass like crazy and eventually I would go back home, dwell on the memories and adapt to the dreariness of having no sisters! To the loneliness that is!

Now, whenever I feel like smiling or laughing wholeheartedly, I close my eyes before surrendering to sleep and I just give in to the beauty of those memories of my childhood. When I do that, I swear I can see it all in my mind's eye! I can hear us talking, laughing, screaming, silent even! I can feel the breeze coming from the open window in my cousin's room playing with my hair and caressing my cheeks while I sat listening to those songs on the radio. I can see it all, smell it all and feel it all!

I remember the joy.. The innocence.. The Childishness.. The craziness.. The quiet & the hilarious moments.. I remember us being so happy.. So alive.. I remember it all..

A smile for the memories..

It is amazing; the way we manage to summon up a certain memory out of a hundred others welled up deep inside the recesses of our minds!!

The other day, as I was listening to Mariah Carey's "One sweet Day", I found myself smiling uncontrollably and feeling a warm rush of content sweeping through my whole body, leaving me swamped in a strange sense of nostalgia to those old days of childhood!

That song triggered a specific incident and actually took me back to the age of 10 or 11, to that time when I heard this song and got acquainted with the great Mariah Carey for the very first time! To tell you the truth, back then English songs were not really that favoured by me and I almost knew none of the so-called cool singers of that particular generation! Frankly, it didn't really bother me that I was oblivious to all that hubbub!
However, that day I was visiting at my aunt's house and having fun with my cousin Khulood as usual! I am only one year older than her and so we do get along very well. So, that day I heard Mariah's track "One sweet day" and I got hooked instantly!

Let me tell you this, I have this habit of getting attached to things by using my sense of hearing! Believe me, I know from the first moment I listen to any song or music whether it appeals to me or not! And Mariah appealed to me alright! She still does, and still is my favourite female singer ever! Though for me that album remains the best I have heard for her, I do spontaneously buy every single album she releases and I don't question whether it'd be as good as expected or not! Of course, you can guess that I bought that album myself right the next day!

Now, at the age of 26, this very song never ever fails to bring back the same sense of excitement and wonder I had back then! Isn't that exhilarating?! I mean 15 years of my life have passed ever so quickly, transforming everything on its way including me, and yet deep down I know for sure that the child I used to be at that distant moment in time still resides somewhere inside of me; making life more bearable, adding beauty to my days and reminding me that at moments of distress I can always close my eyes, mentally turn back the hands of time to that same day and relive the joy and peace one gets out of being a child; blessed with that total blindness to all the traumas & hardships of life, which of course we cannot, now, but strive to tolerate and deal with even if it hits us right between the eyes!!

God, how many times I have heard people around me mumble to themselves 'If I could only go back in time and be a child once again, if only for a split second'! Cannot say I haven't silently wished for that to happen at certain points in my life, and I know that it is perfectly normal to do so. Yet, we all realize that this does not ever happen in reality, and so there is always the memories left for us to cherish and preserve as priceless gifts bestowed upon us by god to draw on our lips a beautiful smile that time can never erase!

Today, I can tell you that I am happy to have fully lived those moments, and to have smiled and laughed a lot back then. Though grown up and mature I happen to be at this stage of my life, it makes me extremely alive and exuberant to have this somewhat "Silly" yet beautiful smile of remembrance dominating my face and adding a spectacular glow like no other!