Things I learned

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a friend, titled "Things I learned in life", which she quoted from a blog she came across by coincidence. I was inspired by what I have had the pleasure to indulge in. I believe you should all read it, and judge for yourself whether or not you could relate to it. Enjoy!

"Things I learned in life"

• I've learned- That you cannot make someone love you; all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
• I've learned- That no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
• I've learned- That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds you destroy it.
• I've learned - That it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
• I've learned- That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
• I've learned- That you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.
• I've learned- That it's not what happens to people that is important. It's what they do about it.
• I've learned- That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• I've learned- That no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
• I've learned- That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
• I've learned- That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• I've learned- That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
• I've learned- That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• I've learned- That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• I've learned- That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
• I've learned- That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• I've learned- That learning to forgive takes practice.
• I've learned- That there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
• I've learned- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• I've learned- That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
• I've learned- That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get up.
• I've learned- That sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• I've learned- That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• I've learned- That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
• I've learned- That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you have celebrated.
• I've learned-That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
• I've learned- That your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't just biological, but of the soul.
• I've learned- That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• I've learned- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• I've learned- That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• I've learned- That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• I've learned- That sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
• I've learned- That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• I've learned- That sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
• I've learned- That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• I've learned- That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• I've learned- That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• I've learned- That no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt in the process.
• I've learned- That there are many ways of falling in love and staying in love.
• I've learned- That no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
• I've learned- That no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the time you need them most.
• I've learned- That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• I've learned- That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
• I've learned- That writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
• I've learned- That the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
• I've learned- That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• I've learned- That the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
• I've learned- That although the word "love" can have many different meaning; it loses value when over used.
• I've learned- That it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

A heart for sale.!

What do we know about hearts?

I know my question sounds a little weird, but if I were to ask you to define 'Heart' for me, what would your answer be? Rationally, the answer would be a scientific and medical definition, and that is:  "the viscus of cardiac muscle that maintains the circulation of the blood". My guess is that such a simple definition is what could pop into one's head if asked such question. Well, I am not really looking for a scientific answer for my question, for it is far from what I want to say here.

When I was a kid, I learned everything I needed to know about hearts, for educational reasons. What I didn't know back then, and what the teacher hasn't explained to us is the fact that hearts are breakable. It is funny the way we process information and knowledge in our minds as children, and how we see and perceive things ever so simply and innocently. Had I known that a heart not only bleeds, but breaks easily, I would have gone to all lengths to immunize it against hurt and suffering. If I had known that as a child, I would have taught myself, much earlier, not to succumb to good-heartedness and emotional generosity, I would have avoided empathy whenever I could, and shown nonchalance to those who deserved it.

Just for the record, it does not have to be a man that has brought me to this conclusion. Yes, it is love that weakens you all the time, but one does not have to be 'in love' to be heartbroken. My story is different; I am not in love, but alas heartbroken!

A friend can break your heart, and they do it so bad you cannot break free from the pain, no matter how hard you tried!

I wonder, why is it so easy for some to inflict pain on people who have opened their hearts to them and embraced them at all times, without stopping for a moment to think twice?
Why do we have our eyes wide shut when we shouldn't!
Why do we keep falling in the same trap once and twice! Maybe it is sheer naivety, or exaggerated good intentions!

At this point, I find myself unwilling to process it all in my mind; I am far too weak to search for answers I don't have, or maybe cannot handle at the moment; given my current state of heart.

Once upon a time, I was told that you always get as much as you give. I believed the fairytale, but today I think it is too good to be true, for some people just don't realize that hearts are breakable, and MUST be handled with utmost care.

Where do we go from there??

Sometimes, unexpected things happen to us; events we haven’t planned or even thought could occur to us at a certain point in time. Yet, they do happen, and when they do, they often take us by surprise. 

At first, we question whether or not we should allow ourselves to be whisked away by the suddenness and beauty of that ‘event’, whether we should begin to hope and see beyond what the eyes could see! We start to make plans, we start to hope, and dream!

Usually,  we take it all for granted and assume everything could, or would, happen according to how we have always seen it once upon a dream, only because we had an initial hunch about it; a so-called ‘CLICK’! We don’t think that maybe, just maybe, we are being delusional and over optimistic; in which case we don’t brace ourselves for the painful disappointment that follows the ‘Oh so sweet a feeling’!

Sometimes we put too much hope in a dream, an idea, a fantasy we have long waited for to come true, and people we find likable enough to believe they fit into that big picture of ours! Ironically, it all goes wrong; leaving behind a mental and emotional mess; a broken heart and a wounded ego! Only when the storm passes and we are once again able to see clearly, we realize that not all dreams come true, and what the eye sees is not necessarily the ultimate truth. Apparently, we only see what we want to see, and believe what we want to believe.

Standing at a crossroads today, I wonder why when we start to hope only a little, all hope is crushed mercilessly! Why do we have to cry when what we really crave is a heartfelt laughter, a hand to hold, and a heart to embrace for eternity? Why are we often in for disappointment and heartache when we least expect it?

When we stumble and fall,,

When we cannot hold back the tears,,

When we hurt a lot we cannot find the right words to say,,

Where do we go from there??

For the memories

A few days ago, one of my colleagues showed me her graduation album, which she had especially designed and made for her and her family on the special and memorable occasion of her graduation from the Masters Program. The album was extraordinary and dazzling in every way. I enjoyed flipping through it and laughing at the specific meaning of each photo, as narrated by the girl. While she was telling us her story, the story of the time she had; making the whole event memorable and worthy enough of every single tear and laughter alike, I could not help but think that it is always us who truly create memories and make something big or small out of them! Her graduation could have passed as any ordinary event, if she had planned for things to go that way, but in reality she had not; she chose to make it the best moment of her life, a moment to always be remembered with joy and pride!

Her feeling was there in her smile, and the smiles of her family members and her friends. By the looks of it, I knew instantly that she had the time of her life that very day. I did not wait for her to verify my presumption; I knew it before I heard it from her. When I retired to my office later on, I found myself philosophizing about the true origin of our memories, and the way we choose to capture and solidify the meaning and significance of each one of our endless memories; and keep them there in a safe place in our minds and hearts, where we can always go back to them and sometimes do a lot of reminiscence. It is amazing indeed, how a single photo can trigger a lot of feelings and thoughts in the blink of an eye. Sometimes, one could do as little as look at a photo to be swamped by feelings of nostalgia and a strong craving that almost nothing can force to fade away!

It is utterly mesmerizing how our lives are made of a series of memories, which gather and pile up to create a lifetime of joy, happiness, hurt, anger, serenity, comfort, peace, hope, despair, pessimism, frustration, love, passion and so many other sentiments that I just cannot list here.

That day, that girl managed to make me think a lot and reminisce more than I thought I could do in one day! I found my mind going back to dwell on forgotten things, incidents and feelings I thought I had left behind; along with the memory they resembled! I did not know that my mind was capable of doing all that reminiscence, which eventually caused my heart to swell with feelings I could not describe or analyze at the time.

I wonder, though, whether we make our memories…
Or whether they make us who we are now.. today.. this moment!

You can't steal my soul

When we hurt, we tend to think that nobody, but us, is suffering excruciating pain. Our minds go totally blank, at which point we adopt a new bizarre belief; that the world should stop for our grief! I know it sounds laughable enough, and in reality it is, but we truly tend to think like that at moments of overwhelming sorrow, where logic just ceases to exist!

When we are gripped by an intense emotional pain or shock or great disappointment, we become an easy target for despair and lack of faith. We do not think; or rather stop thinking at a certain point in time. When such thing happens, voluntary blindness lead the way, and all sense of wisdom flies out the window, leaving us empty handed, devoid of all hope and resolve and strength of will.

Sometime and somewhere in the past, I used to think like that. When I was exposed to pain, on an emotional and spiritual level, I would feel as though the whole world came to a standstill at that particular moment. I would lose the ability to live normally and just opt for lack of action. Any attempt at dismissing and overlooking whatever or whoever it was that hurt me would always prove futile. It was always easier to let my grief wash over me and swallow whatever determination I had left. As convinced as I was of my unacceptable and pathetic attitude, I was fragile enough to surrender to it wholeheartedly; not minding its abhorrent grip on me. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but I guess it is normal and expected that some of us would feel and behave that way! The mind is not always as resolute and stubborn and capable as we wish for it to be; it has its moments of weakness and lack of will.

Reflecting on the past now, I look at all my previous mishaps with a smile of recognition and a look of wisdom; this arises from my faith that every tear I shed back then was not wasted, for I was solely tested by God, and strengthened with every fall along the way. I know that I did not have this perspective and sense of wisdom at the time, but I am glad now that I have managed to learn that every fall that does not kill you, certainly makes you stronger. I know that I am now much stronger than before.

Maybe I did not know that years back, when it was easier to break my heart and my spirit, but time has changed me tremendously. Well, they say that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief. I know that now, and I believe in it. I cannot say that the journey of learning was an easy one, not at all; it was full of moments of sheer despair and skepticism in almost everything and everybody.

When you are back-stabbed, you are bound to fall into this trap, where you stop trusting and believing in others, but what is worse is for you to stop believing in yourself! That can scare the life out of you, believe me. Yet, there are always good people, who storm into your life like a gentle breeze and make you whole again. When they do that, you are completely saved and blessed. Such people, who I like to refer to as angels, are always willing to extend a helping hand and show you the way out of your dark hole. They make you smile frequently, if not constantly. They fill you with the kind of love that never fades away; it is always there, making you a better person and making your life complete in almost every sense.

A wise person once told me that human beings are always bound to spread anarchy amongst themselves one way or another, and that no matter how pleasantly and peacefully life seems to go for you, there is always the possibility that hurt will come your way, and that someone will inflict pain on you and make you realize that life is not a fairy tale. Maybe I did not want to believe that when I heard it the first time, but I did at the end; I believed it and saw the sense in it. And because I did that, I have learned that some people are simply not worth the fuss, nor do they deserve a moment of regret or heartbreak. We are always and forever better off without those who do not deserve us and do not see our true worthiness.

You might wonder why I am telling you all this, well, I am saying it because I know that there are many people out there who have felt what I felt in the past, or others probably going through the same as I am speaking! I am telling you this because we always learn from each other’s mistakes, and this is undoubtedly the best way to learn and avoid what could be avoided.

Always remember that some people can hurt you, they can make you cry, they can even break you to an extent, but no matter how deep your wounds are; never let those people believe that they can steal your soul, for it is the only thing that will always belong to you.

To be able to stand tall amongst a crowd and scream ‘You cannot steal my soul’ is certainly a victory whose value is always and forever priceless, immeasurable and definitely mind-blowing. It makes you triumphant in every way.

Mr. Right

How do we know that ‘someone’ is Mr. Right? How do we recognize the ‘click’ that is supposed to occur when the one of us comes across this Mr. Right?

I always ask myself such questions because I find it extremely puzzling; a mystery which I still haven’t managed to unravel completely. I know it is all about destiny and how each one of us is meant to be with someone who has been destined for us all along. I believe in this and I have no doubt about it whatsoever, but I need to understand it and recognize the symptoms, as I fancy calling it, that indicate that this 'anyone’ is the so-called Mr. Right! I need to know it in my heart and feel it totally, so I won’t have any doubts or uncertainties about the whole issue. Not knowing is frustrating!

My married friends always tell me that I should and would feel it if any of my suitors happened to be the one. In a number of cases, I did know that ‘Him’ and ‘Him’ and ‘Him’ were certainly not meant to be the one! I knew it instantly and my normal reaction was wanting to flee the place as soon as I could and never look back! I always found reasons and faults to say no! And I never regretted it in any of those times, with none of those suitors. I could not see myself stuck for eternity with any of them, and I know now that I was absolutely right about my intuition, for if I was meant to be the one for one of them, I would have ended up saying yes a long time ago!

Still, I always ask myself the same question, over and over again, how is it possibly plausible that I’d know someone is not Mr. Right, but I would always be doubtful whether someone is Mr. Right? How is this ever understandable or acceptable? How do I make myself grasp the logic or non-logic in it? Can somebody please tell me?!

Some say it is all about the heart; claiming it’d always tell you if the ‘One’ was in close proximity! But what if your heart never does know?! What if it just cannot know that and does not have that radar by which it would recognize the symptoms and signs and indications? What if you were always driven by sense and sensibility? What if your way of looking at it is simply by pinpointing the positives and negatives you see in the guy and weighing them against each other to know whether it is a ‘YES’ or a ‘NO’?? Is that even credible or guaranteed to work all the time?

     

Okay, so I am sweet, romantic, emotional, dreamy, and full of hopes and expectations about my Mr. Right, but where do I go from here if my heart still refuses to give me the sign I am looking for to know and to believe in my story of ‘Happily ever After’?! Is there some kind of fault in it or what! I mean, for those of you who know, really what is it all about? A flutter of the heart or a mental click in the head?

And,,

If, despite all the uncertainty, a day would come when someone-anyone- comes along, and you think nothing has happened and no ‘click’ has occurred, but something God knows what stops you from saying NO every time you attempt to do so, does it mean anything at all?  

I am asking, so clearly I am the one who does not know!!

Love You,, Love Life

 

Today, I woke up feeling extra fresh, and extra happy! I know that we are supposed to frequently-if not always-have that touch of hope and willingness to love life just the way it is, because it feels right to be hopeful and optimistic, but we are humans after all, and it is perfectly normal to usually not be over the moon! We all have our ups and downs, for this reason, I stopped asking myself why I am not feeling good about myself and about everything at certain times! Anyways, back to the point, I woke up all happy and smiling today; don’t ask me why though;P 

It just happened! No reason at all. So, I made myself a steaming cup of coffee, and boy it felt unusually good. Well, I guess it had something to do with my buoyant self!

So, all through the day, I kept smiling almost to everybody at work, and felt extremely exuberant that I just could not let myself get frustrated over anything or let any silly incident ruin my contagiously pleasant mood. I almost felt like telling everybody that they should wipe the frown off their faces and put on a smile, no matter how small a smile it is! I know that one little smile could make all the difference in someone’s life. For all you know, it could light up the world for someone who has been waiting-forever- just to see that smile brighten your face, and brighten his/her day just as much.

We usually spend our days sulking over trivial things, and waste our time dwelling on the past; forgetting that the future is ahead of us, waiting for us to open our eyes wide enough to see it, and stretch our arms to embrace a promise only tomorrow could hold for us. I know that I sometimes forget to enjoy life as much as I should, but along the way I have learned that every moment we waste is gone forever, unless we learn to seize it  before it flees, before it is too late even for regret! Even getting crazy at times and doing the unusual things; things we have never thought we could do, has its own beauty and makes you feel unusually ecstatic!  

Believe me, love is the most powerful of all sentiments! It has the power to change you, change the people around you and change the whole world even! Love is magical in its effect and outcome, so it is worthless to waste our time hating and resenting this or that, him and her!
Love is extraordinarily healing, believe me. It is a blessing and a gift from God. So, just love your life, love people, but most importantly love who you are, because loving yourself is definitely the first step towards loving others and learning to love and live life to the fullest. 

I love you all… 

Don't say a word..!

We all have secrets, and we all have issues that we'd rather keep to ourselves and never let anyone on in. We probably do this because we prefer to have some privacy, but sometimes we do it because we choose to not reveal some things in fear of appearing fragile and breakable before the eyes of the people surrounding us!

You are definitely wondering about my secret at the moment.

And, you are most probably asking yourself about this thing I am attempting to reveal here.

Don't try too hard, for I am here to unravel the mystery myself!!

When I open my blog to post something new, I always feel like coming home, like I have been lost in the middle of nowhere and finally found my way to the one place that truly comforts me, the place that makes me feel at peace with myself and the whole world.

When I blog, I am free of any and every fear that might prevent me from talking to you freely. When I touch the keyboard, I don't think twice before letting my words fly high to reach you; every single one of you out there. My blog is my haven.. It is my refuge.. It is my little paradise.. It is where I am totally and completely free; free to speak.. Free to scream.. Free to cry.. And laugh.. Free to present you with the chance to see through me, to know me, to understand the real me.

I am not here today to talk about my love for my blog; I think you all know that by now;P

I am here to set me free.. To say the thing that I have been dreading to say out loud because I did not want people to think of me as a complainer, or see me as someone who does not accept what has been destined for her by Allah; that is not having a sister.

Here goes, the secret is out; I am sad because I do not have a sister!! Do not say a word, though;D 

I know I am not the only one who does not have a sister, and I swear I thank Allah every minute for blessing me with friends who are closer to me than anybody, and whom I cannot see life without because they are an essential part of me, without whom I know I cannot survive.

It is just that sometimes loneliness closes in on me, suffocates me beyond reason.. Beyond comprehension; making me blind with a strange kind of grief, one that does not give me the chance to breathe properly because it sucks all the air out of my little world.

Last night, while lying on bed trying so hard to lull myself to sleep with pleasant thoughts, I found myself wishing so bad I had a sister, with whom I could babble till late at night, and go crazy with like sisters normally do, without once stopping to think whether or not  she'd understand me at all times.

I could not stop myself from imagining what it'd feel like to have that sister stay with me in the same room, with her bed right next to mine, when on the weekends we would get ready for sleep, but would end up talking and talking and talking about all the silly and non-silly things in the world until time ceases to exist for us, or until one of us falls asleep mid sentence! Now how beautiful do you think that image is??

When I have such thoughts, I feel so lonely, and so bereft that I could hardly hold the tears back. At such moments, all I wish for is the ability to block the tantalizing 'I wish for this' and 'I wish for that' and stop myself from turning into a bitter version of myself. When loneliness chooses to pay me a visit, I pray for peace of mind and heart to conquer it and put the smile-My smile- back on my face.

Truth is I sometimes cannot help but fall victim to such negative thoughts and sentiments, but I am still thankful for all the happy and wonderful and extraordinary moments I got and still get to live with all my friends/sisters out there. You know yourselves and you know how much I love you and Will always do. I will never stop being there for you all whenever you need me.

 
To all of you who happen to read this, and who have real sisters, keep them safe all the time. Show them how much you love them and treasure every moment you spend with them. Don’t ever underestimate the value of your sister; a sister is a treasure that only those who are deprived of know what it is like not to have. 

Love your sisters..
Treasure them..

Love.. Hate!!

When I wrote this, my mind was totally blank! The idea came to me quite unexpectedly, but I loved it all the same, and so I decided to share with you my arbitrary thoughts here!

I love it when I wake up in the morning and remember that it is a day off; meaning I can still sleep more!

I love the feeling I get when I know that someone thinks I am cute;P

I love the idea of falling in love.. madly.. deeply

I love lying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling, with my mind devoid of any thought!

I love travel to the extent of being able to close my eyes and see myself in a new place everyday.

I love romantic movies that tug at my heart and drive my pulse to go haywire.

I love the idea of running out in the rain and laughing like crazy. Never stopped dreaming of doing this!

I love the feeling of soft wet sand on my bare feet.

I love it when I cook and others commend my cooking.

I love it when the sky is so full of bright stars at night that it makes you feel as though you are lost in a world of sheer fantasy.

I love how it feels when the wind blows through my hair and caresses my cheek like a gentle hand.

I love listening to the things that always lift one's spirits up and fill them with hope.    

I love you all as you read this at the moment.

 

I hate it when some people pretend to know me very well, when the truth is they don’t know anything and don’t care to know.

I hate the intense feeling of remorse over anything I promised myself not to do, and ended up doing!

I hate it when I want to stand up for myself so bad it hurts, and fail to do so repeatedly.

I hate not being in control of my life!

I hate watching some people act so mean towards those who least deserve it.

I hate getting all worked up about things I know in my heart are not worth the fuss!

I hate it when girls stare other girls up and down for no reason at all! Isn’t that born out of sheer jealousy?

I hate the feeling of helplessness and uncertainty.

I hate it when I cannot sleep at night.

I hate the sound of the alarm early in the morning.

I hate it when the vain ones try to impose their beliefs and perspectives in life on you and criticize you for not wanting to be as vain as they are!

I hate not being able to express myself properly when I need that the most!

I hate me when I don’t blog;P

Who am I??

The other day, one of my cyber friends asked me to tell her more about myself; we were trying to learn more about each other. For a few moments, I just sat there staring at the screen and thinking of what I was going to say next. I could feel my fingers going still on the keyboard in the middle of my short lived stance. I mean, it is fairly difficult to describe yourself to people, to talk about yourself from your own angle and perspective. I did feel at a loss of words at that instant, and for the first time in a while I asked myself  that one question: Who am I?

By this question I don't mean to question my personality or aim for an attempt to know myself more, or dig deeper into my soul to discover things I might not know about myself, for at the end of the day nobody knows you better than yourself! What I am trying to say here is that it felt awkward for me to search for the right words to portray myself as I should do, and make the whole picture clear and readable enough for those who do not know me in person, the people who might, at this very moment, be reading my words and wondering about the lady behind the screen; the lady who calls herself Miss Dreamer.

Well, for a start I see myself as a dreamer; a big dreamer so to speak. I enjoy day dreaming to the extent that I can close my eyes and see the future life that I would like to lead  in a matter of minutes. When I dream, I dream big. When I drift away with my mind and my imagination,  I can always come up with stories that I long to star in and turn into a vivid reality one day. I am not saying that reality ceases to exist for me, because if it weren't for my urge to use my mind a lot and analyze almost everything before putting it into action, I would not have managed to survive the cruelty of today's world, what with the marshmallow like heart I happen to have!  What I am saying here is that I am so emotional that I sometimes wish for my heart to never feel things the way it does; it  is constantly making me wish for and crave things that are said to only exist in fairytales.

It is very easy to make me happy, to make me smile, and at the same time the littlest things can turn my whole world into ashes and make me cry! Sometimes I wonder if it is a bad thing to be so emotional, so easily moved, so easily touched from the inside. Well to some people it might be, but I believe one better be passionate and sensitive than callous and unfeeling!

I do not know what else I could say about myself, because it is indeed proving difficult to elaborate more about me, about who I am! However, I cannot help but see what I want and dream about in my mind's eye. I can see myself bumping into my destiny; the man behind the mask, No Face, my knight in shining armor. I can see myself holding hands with him, loving him, needing him; the one I am still waiting for to paint my dreams with the colors of the rainbow. I can see myself becoming a mother to a cute little baby, cuddling it, holding it close to my heart, feeling its heartbeat in the very depth of my soul, laughing, and giggling, and going crazy with the kind of happiness that only such a future could bring. On top of all that, I see myself becoming a universal author; the author I have longed to become, for longer than I can even remember. 

Who am I??

I am simply a lady who has dreams, and also fears.

I know the smile,, the laughter,, yet I can sulk like a baby at times;P

I have strengths, but I do have my weaknesses as well.

I can be so yielding at times, but that does not stop me from opting for stubbornness

whenever necessary.

I am the realist, but also the biggest dreamer alive;P

(Aren’t I exaggerating a little-chuckling to myself-

I enjoy being around my family and friends to the extreme.

I totally find pleasure in snuggling comfortably under the covers to read a romantic book, and smile and laugh and even cry once I get so much into it.

I love life, and I pray for it to love me back just as much.

Who am I??

I sure am not perfect, for nobody ever is, but I like who I am, and am proud to say so. 
 

P.S: This post is especially dedicated to my friend Texan. You inspired me to write this post. Thank you dear:)

Heartbroken…

It is believed that the easiest way to get your heart broken is to love; to open up to someone, to trust them with your heart, to believe that your soul is safe with them. When you do all that, you are bound to get hurt, and eventually have your heart broken!

When you like someone so immensely that you literally freak out when they are not around, fear of getting hurt or even slightly neglected by those same people becomes your companion. You stop seeing and thinking and believing that your life is beautiful without them being an essential part of it, for you only see the rainbow through their eyes.  When the people you love almost become the centre of your existence, every minute you spend without them becomes meaningless, tasteless and most certainly lifeless. When they smile, your world lights up. When they cry, your whole existence turns into something darker than your worst nightmare!

To love unconditionally, infinitely and wholeheartedly is to be totally exposed before the ones you love. You leave none of your sentiments hidden or unrevealed, because deep down you believe that what you give is always what you get. However, that is not always the case, for you cannot always expect others to be as emotional and loving as you are. If that was the way love worked, everybody would have been spared the heartache and no tears would ever have been shed! Sadly, people are not the same, and they can never be.

To love is to be inexplicably blinded by the sheer intensity of your need to your beloved ones. Yet, and against all odds, you never question your emotional hunger for their presence, their smile, their words, even at the times they drive you nuts!

It is only love that has the power to transform most people into fragile individuals, whose hearts are left unprotected against the hurt that could and would probably go their way; piercing their naked souls, penetrating them to the very core. The pain, once fully acknowledged, is unbearable, unthinkable, and most definitely unimaginable.  

When you love someone, whether a lover, a relative, or a friend, you are never immune to cruelty, injustice or hurt. When you love, you don’t brace yourself for the fall. It is only when you take the full force of the fall that you realize you are seriously wounded, only to discover that the bleeding is in your heart, and that you are heartbroken!!