December 28, 2009


As the year 2010 is getting closer by the minute, I find myself becoming more and more pensive, eerily speculative, yet hopeful in a way or another. The passing of time has never ceased to fill me with this sense of fearful and also hopeful anticipation; as though my heart and my senses are in constant expectation of an unknown occurrence whose coming to life will either turn me into a complete pessimist or the total opposite.

Time has this magical inexplicable substance that has the power to alter your life, disorganize it, mess with it at times, possibly change you and eventually fill you with endless, even contradictory notions to dwell on and analyze thoroughly; mostly in an attempt to understand the philosophy of life, regardless of how crazy and mind blowing it could get at times.

The clock is ticking, that I know, and with every ticking sound from your clocks and mine, we get closer to 2010. Soon enough 2009 will become a history, probably a collection of memories; pleasant and unpleasant alike! We are likely to drift backwards in time; in sweet remembrance maybe, or else in pure and utter nostalgia to moments we refuse to let go of.

It is only us who have the will and the ability to decide what to make of time, and what to become in time. We can always be hopeful, fearful, optimistic, pessimistic, productive, sluggish, melancholic, sentimental, emotional, apathetic, enthusiastic, bitter, strong-willed or anything  else we choose to be. It is us who truly make the change, and it is us who can paint the upcoming year “2010”; only a few days away, with whatever color we choose. We can paint it bright and glamorous and beautiful like a rainbow, or opt for dull, lifeless! Believe me, it is always us who can inflict CHANGE around us.  

Now that 2009 is bidding us farewell, I find myself looking back at all its events and occurrences, up to the tiniest little details. I cannot say it was a great year, in all honesty it was not my year at all! Nevertheless, it was eventful. I know that at the end of 2008, I had big expectations for 2009, I had plentiful of dreams and hopes and ambitions. Like everybody else, I so much wanted to believe that 2009 would be my year. However, I was in for disappointments and a portion of heartache.

I cannot say that 2009 turned out to be totally horrible and miserable, but it was not perfect. My only consolation was and still is my knowledge that nothing is perfect and nothing goes to our liking all the time. We should always brace ourselves for some disappointments and moments of unhappiness, which eventually make the moments of true happiness much tastier and definitely worth the wait. When such a moment arrives, trust me we will know how to value it and appreciate it they way we should.

Throughout 2009, I had my moments of peace, happiness and content and others of pain, hurt and despair. I did lose hope on so many occasions, yet I had moments of self-discovery and others of enlightenment. I learned a lot. I cried a lot, but I also laughed my head off so many other times I lost count. Now that it is coming to an end, I can clearly see that nothing that had happened during these 12 months occurred for no reason, for I am who I am now because of everything I have been through up until this very moment. 

Today, I want to take this chance to thank everybody who has and is still making me a happier person. To the people whose presence in my life has made all the difference. To those whose only existence makes me determined and hopeful enough to make it through today, and every day.

To my parents:

I am the luckiest person to have you by my side at all times. Dad, your warm fatherly embrace and the kiss you still plant on my cheek everyday is a priceless blessing. Mom, your beautiful smile and the sound of your laughter is music to my ears; you give life to life.

My amazing brothers,,

Ali: You are a wonderful brother. Guess what, I have a feeling that this year will –Inshalla- be your year. Well, it is about time you got married, eh? Come on I want to become an aunt!

Abdulla: You will make a lady very lucky one day. If I could find someone as amazing, gorgeous and perfect as you, believe me I would not have invented No Face!

Mohammed: YOU know I love you so much. You are unique, and please don’t take my constant teasing personally;P

Auntie Nano, Koki, Anoos, Nabooh, Adool and Layla,,
Every single moment I spend amongst you all makes me happier. Thank you for making our times together unique and joyful.

To all my friends,,
A huge thank you for always being there for me, even before I call out to you.

(Umm Ameer): Whoever says that angels don’t exist on earth should really come and see you!  I am  immeasurably loved and  forever blessed because I have you; my dear guardian angel with the golden heart. One more thing, a real prince is waiting for you somewhere out there; a real “Ameer”;D 

(Khadija): Thank you for seeing the best there was in me and being with me through thick and thin, from early childhood until this moment.  For this solid friendship I shall always be thankful. 

(Hadeel): You are a true blessing. It was such a lucky day the day I came across Shelfari, for it was what led me to you. Can you see how lucky I am? Thank you for being you, and may 2010 bring you lots of smiles and blessings.

(Afrah): Thank you for believing in me when I did not believe in me!

(Amal & Hana): The best thing that happened to me at work was meeting you two. Do you remember how much we used to laugh? Bless you!

(Khulood): Thank you for being such a great cousin and an amazing friend.

(Amool): Whenever I remember your smile and your contagious laughter, I know that life is indeed beautiful. Keep smiling!

(Mariam, Nada, Marioom, Meme, Faika, Khokha, Farah, Layoool, Maroom, Shosho, Nadoy, Fatoom, and all my other friends):
Thank you for your sunny presence in my life. I love you all.

(H): Although you might never know this, you have given my heart reason enough to dream! So thank you!

(No Face): It is about time you showed up!!

To all my cyber friends,,
A big thank you for your constant support and encouraging.

Happy New Year everybody and May Allah Bless You All and  grant you all your dreams and wishes. 


Faith said...

Wasn’t my year too.. but it was unbelievably fast al7mdellah.
SOOO true about analyzing thoroughly :) it’s funny how we analyse every single detail hoping to understand life better. Even when we know for sure it’s a huge box of surprises. Maybe we can learn a bit.. but that won’t help in avoiding new shocks and mistakes.

Laa22 positive thoughts positive thoughts ;D
hope you have an extraordinary year dreamer :)inshalla starting Jan first and no second later. Ya rab

Bluetiful Nostalgia said...

Let's see...
2009 wasn't my year as well. So many things happened that made my heart stop and my tears roll down on my cheeks all the time. Despite all this, it's a gift from Allah and I do cherish it and will always treasure it as it helped in shaping small part of me as all the passing years did.

TIME, crucial... Use it wisely.

My dear Zainab,
Your words touched me so deeply. You ARE a true friend that I found in my "future-home" [Bahrain], eh?? ya3ni we never thought that I would be living here beside you my friend, 9a7?? umbaaiii... When I think of it now, WOW... Allah blessed us with this amazing friendship in order for me to settle down in my new home with the help of my "FIRST and Only" bahraini friend... so far ;)... hehe wanaaasaaa
umbai... am I making sense?? LOL

Anyhow my love, you have a wonderful 2010 and all the years to come. May Allah bless you, your family and beloveds with health and happiness :*

Bluetiful Nostalgia said...

oh! ahem... LOVE the new layout ;)

Maram said...

Happy New Year Zainab and Inshallah it is the year for all of us ..
2009 was not the year for me too, but thank god for everything :)

Miss Dreamer said...


Yeah yeah we should learn to think postive a little! No nagetaive expectations and thoughts;P
Thanks for your lovely presence. May Allah grant you everything beutiful, everything your heart desires:)


Habebti I know that 2009 was a very difficult year for you, but the best thing about it is your settling down here close to me:))

I agree with you that it might never have crossed our minds before, but Alhamdella it has become a reality, and what a beautiful reality! I am the lucky one to have known you, and you will always be my friend ya a7la Hadeel. And don't worry you are making perfect sense;D

Happy New year in advance and hope it holds the happiest and greatest surprises for you and your family. Bless you all.

EEE, I too ADORE the new layout, lol:)


Happy New Year to you too sweetie, and thank you:) Well, maybe 2010 will turn out to be our year this time, you never know;P

Allah is always gracious and merciful. Bless you dear.

Stranger said...

My dear dear Miss Dreamer,
Well, I have to say this.. Woooow I'm amazed by the beauty of this post. It made my heart lighten up :)
you know, I dont think 2009 was anybody's year. though we were all hopeful and feeling so good about it. As you said, everything that ever happened was sure for some reason or another. we might not be aware of that just yet, but everything will fall in just in the right place.
I totally love the cheerful tone you are holding up for 2010 and I seriously think we all should be holding it too.
I have to admit that my year 2010 didn't start up quite right, it's like when you wake up the wrong side of the bed or whatever the expression is :)
I want to make you a deal, that is to try make every day of my life and yours count.

Somehow, I want to have the time for MYSELF ( a word I'm not familiar with anymore). And I want us to have our own crazy friendly times we've spent together before I turned into a Robo-Mom. How does this sound??

Anyways, I really hope it would be a Good year for you and that you might find the beautiful somewhat perfection you are seeking.

Happy New Year Zainaby.

Miss Dreamer said...

Habebi Rababy,

Soooo glad you are back:))
Well, I am truly pleased that I could put a smile on your face and fill you with hope; I guess my cheerful tone did get to you after all;D

You never know sweetie, this new year might just be the year we have all been waiting for to realize one more dream and be a little more happier.

I do miss our old days; you remember our hanging out together and loving Baskin Robins? LOL
We should do more of that and make you break free from the Robo-Mom symptom, heheee:)

Happy New Year sweetie and thank you for everything; for how wonderful you are. For being you:)

Love you

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