My Valentine..

14 February 2010

Dearest No face,

I still find it fairly difficult to communicate with you after long intervals of absence, such as this one! I know it has been a while since I last wrote any letter to you, and as inexcusable as this might be, I find myself unable to justify it properly, to myself, let alone to you! It is strange, isn’t it? For someone to get this much attached to a phantom, an illusion, a fantasy that relates in no way to reality. Yet, I am always full of excitement whenever I grab my pen and write yet another letter to you.

There is this strangest and most powerful feeling overwhelming me at this very moment, while I am writing this to you. I cannot quite explain it, and I wonder if you would even get it, but I am happy and joyful in a way that I haven’t felt for quite sometime. Every word, every expression, and every single sentiment accompanying these words here is true in every sense, that much I want you to know, and that much I certainly want you to believe, for the fact that you are a No Face does not change the truth that I am pleased by your existence in my life, no matter how crazy or laughable this might sound to some. Every single one of us out there needs something to cling to, to believe in, to find consolation in. When I think of you, and when I write to you, I find all the consolation I need, and more importantly, I find content, and the smile that everybody wants to see drawn on their lips.

You know, until late this morning, I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day! It took me sometime to make the connection, and when it hit me that it was indeed February the 14th; Valentine’s Day, I was disoriented for a moment or so. I thought to myself, here comes another Valentine’s Day without your real presence in my life. This day would have turned out differently if you were for real, and I would have been a happier woman, don’t you think?

They say everything happens for a reason, and there is a perfect time for every occurrence in life. I cannot deny the fact that your absence makes me sad and fills my heart with a kind of hollowness that only you can fill, completely. However, an inexplicable intuition; stronger than anything else, keeps telling me that you are closer to me than ever, that I’ll finally get to see you, and fall in love with you, only this time for real.

I believe in Allah,, in destiny,, and I also believe in you,, in my love for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day my Sweet Valentine..

Love,
Zainab