Simply extraordinary

 

I wanted to write this yesterday, and because I did not have the time to, I decided I would do it today. Well, I might have wanted to write this since the moment I met this ‘Extraordinary’ lady, to whom this post is solely dedicated. I think she would know this is about her, and for her, but just in case; Hadeel this is for you! 

Hadeel, what can I tell you about her? Whatever I would say would sound so small and insignificant in comparison to her greatness and the aura of uniqueness she seems to possess. The simplest thing I could think of when she comes to my mind is a fresh flower bouquet, or a spacious garden full of blooming and fragrant flowers, just like the picture above. I searched for something that would resemble her, and when I finally came across this picture here, I immediately felt as though I could see her face in it; with its freshness and simple beauty, for that is what you first notice about her; her unsophisticated simplicity, spontaneity, grace and beauty.

Life is said to be something similar to Pandora’s box; it is always full of surprises, and there will always be something you did not see coming, hidden in every corner, waiting to surprise you whether pleasantly or unpleasantly. My pleasant and blissful surprise was Hadeel, whom I knew by sheer coincidence; the same coincidence that brought me to where I am at this very moment; writing this post about an amazing person, a person I see as a friend and a sister I dearly love. Luckily enough, Hadeel is now here in Bahrain, where I can constantly enjoy her company and bask in the bliss of having her at my side; sharing extraordinary moments; as extraordinary and spectacular as her.

When Hadeel first came to our house, it was like a refreshing spring breeze had found its way to the house and its inhabitants. Every single member of my family fell in love with her smile and her charismatic self immediately; they could not resist her aura, or her laughter and that elegance emanating from every word she uttered, Masha’Allah; please say Masha’Allah with me (LOL). I am not exaggerating here, everything I say about her is the truth and nothing but the truth; she is an extraordinary lady, a lady born to mesmerize everyone who knows her, and imprison them in her world of beauty and charm.

Everyday in her company feels like a new world of wonders. I have learned so many things that only a while back seemed like theories and sayings I would only hear and look over or forget. With you, Hadeel, I have learned to see life from an angle I have never before considered. Now it seems as though I am witnessing the rainbow for the first time, and learning to enjoy anything that comes my way without questioning whether or not any good would come out of it.

It is your capacity for loving life that has cast a new light on my life and me as a person. It is your wisdom that makes me see things simply for what they really are; without looking for ways to complicate them or ruin the beauty that lies in them, no matter how small or insufficient that beauty is.

Hadeel..

You talk wonderfully. You add life and beauty and gorgeousness to everything around you.
You know how to make me have fun; real fun.
You have a loving heart and a pure soul that make people love you without thinking, cause they simply let down their guard and go with their feelings.  
You know how to make change happen.
You are the daughter any parents would want, and the kind of wife that I am sure makes your husband a lucky man, and drives him to thank God everyday for the gift of (You) in his life.
You are an extraordinary sibling to every single member of your family, and definitely an extraordinary friend to your friends, including me.

Hadeel..

I love you for who you are, and everything you are, and everything you make me feel with your precious existence in my life and your amazing sisterhood and friendship.   

Because you are an extraordinary being, I am writing this. 
Because you mean a lot to me, I am writing this.
Because I cherish our friendship and do not ever want to lose it, I am feeling all this.

And because you deserve all the love one could feel and give, this post is certainly about you, and for you, my extraordinary friend.        

Missing You

This is especially dedicated to my beloved father, whom I miss terribly! He is currently in Geneva on a business trip, and though it has only been like three days since he left, I feel as though it has been forever since I last saw his dear face.

I know that, by now, I should have gotten used to him being away more frequently because of his job, but every time he is away, it feels anew to me, and the emptiness his absence leaves inside of me is something I can never get used to. Being an only daughter amongst three boys, I know I am kinda spoiled, and I know that my father treats me more like a princess, but that is not the reason I love him this much, and miss him this much, and need him this much!

Well, I know that we are all supposed to love our fathers and look up to them and cherish their existence in our lives and thank God every day for the blessing of having them at our side, and I love my father for all that, but I also consider him special in his own way, and unique in ways I simply can never perceive as 'Ordinary'. You know, the one thing I wish for so bad is finding a man as special, extraordinary, amazing, loving and wonderful as my father.

Now that he is away, I miss his daily morning call, which has come to be an essential part of my day to day life. Every morning, he calls me when I am on my way to work, and this call truly makes my day, every single time, for I arrive at work more refreshed and a much happier person. And when I am facing a hardship, I just cannot think of anyone capable of lifting the burden off my shoulder but my father, whom I simply cannot see myself without.

I miss his smile,
his embrace,
his voice,
his wisdom,
his loving touch, and everything else I could think of and relate to him, and only him.

My father is my strength, he is my smile, and the centre of my universe. If there is one thing that could totally and completely blow my whole world and bring my downfall, it is thinking of me and my life without him!

Dear dad, I miss you so very much and this is to let you know that there is nothing I want more than to see your beloved face very soon!

May Allah grant you health and happiness and a long life, full of love and peace and content. You are the greatest father and the best gift a daughter could ever ask for.

Yesterday

I know I have been lazy lately, and that I haven’t been posting much! It is inexcusable I know, but it has been a strange week, or rather a strange time for me altogether. I have not been reading much, or writing, or doing anything at all, and the whole thing seems as if I am standing at a certain spot staring in awe at my other active self; not knowing if I could go over there and be all ‘that’ once again. Strange eh?

When I woke up today, I got out of bed slowly and drew the curtain; letting the sun pour into my room and wash over me; bringing me into full consciousness and seeping into my brain to refresh all the dead cells and put me back on active mood again! I walked to my bathroom like a robot, washed my face, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes and switched on my PC; I do that all the time by the way, switching on my PC that is!

While waiting for it to get started, I looked out my window; at the neighborhood I have known since I was 9 years old, the neighborhood I grew up in and had all sorts of fun in. It was different when we first moved here 20 years ago; back then our house was the very first in the vicinity, but later more people started to build their houses and move in here. I looked at the street across from our house; the street that had witnesses my falls when I was trying to learn how to ride the bicycle. When I finally did learn how to do that, I spent most of my time roaming the neighborhood with my elder and younger brothers. Those times will always be unforgettable to me and to them. The three of us were full of life and adventurous to an extent that nothing could stop us from having fun; really having fun. We did all sorts of crazy things; I could go on and on about that you know;P

Now that I stood there taking in a view I am more than familiar with, I felt like an alien to all that surrounds me. I felt strange and a stranger as well. The neighborhood looked dreary to my eyes, devoid of life and devoid of all the fun I knew back then. I spent more than 10 minutes just looking outside my window, thinking about all that has happened from that moment; 20 years ago, until this very moment. I realized that so many things have changed, altering everything during its course of transformation into something I no longer recognize. In the blink of an eye, it dawned on me that life around me has changed, and not me as a person, and that all the while I was trying strenuously to come to terms with this change in people, in life, in habits, in beliefs, and almost in every other area. I was feeling a stranger to my own self because I could not accept that life is nothing like it used to be.

The streets, the neighborhood, the houses, and everything else I saw at my moment of reverie might have been be the same from the outside, but they have somehow lost their glow of life! They looked dead to my eyes because they have lost their interest in life along the way; they no longer fill me with that unique sense of joy, all they do now is fill me with nostalgia!

It felt scary to stand there looking at the things that were supposed to make me feel ‘Home sweet Home’, and not know anything about them other than the fact that they felt new to me! I closed my eyes wanting so bad to shake that feeling off  and regain my peace of mind and heart, but the feeling would not go; it kept coming back to me every time I stared out the window and watched the wind play with the trees in our garden. There used to be that huge and ancient hibiscus tree just outside my window; it used to make me smile and feel like a little girl every time I looked at it, it is not here anymore, it died like so many other things, and when I look for it all I see is this vast emptiness, nothingness.

My late grandmother used to have lunch with us every Friday, and after lunch we would always have tea in the living room, where she would sit peacefully and look out the large window overlooking our garden. She looked so happy and content those distant days; as though she wanted nothing more than be there with us and enjoy the feeling of being happy. She died 4 years ago.

When I looked outside my window today, I remembered her, I remembered her peaceful smile. Something about the weather and the sun and the houses and my room made me remember her. I miss her, and I always feel like she never did leave us! She is my link to happier days and happier moments. 

Today, I just feel like getting back my beautiful Yesterday!!  

'THE' Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday to Me..
Happy Birthday to Me..
Happy Birthday.. Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to Me!!

Yeah yeah it is my birthday today!

I cannot believe it, can you??
I have turned (....)

Sorry cannot tell..!

LOL

I will leave it to you guys to guess

Ahem ahem; the mystery lady I know;P

Well, I have mixed feelings, which I cannot quite analyze or even understand!

I am happy and excited and thrilled about the celebration that is yet to come, but I am also kind of pensive about the whole thing!

It really does feel a bit strange to go through your birthday minute by minute; thinking about what it means to you and what you want to do and what you dream of getting; by that I certainly do not mean gifts!

For me, this day is more of an intense emotional experience; filling me with expectations for tomorrow and the days to follow. I see myself days and months from today, standing at a crossroads, thinking of me.. What I want, and who I seek to become and where I want to go from there.

Last year, on this same day, I made a wish, or two, or maybe three, or four!!

Am I losing count here?

I cannot say that they have come true, but at the same time I know there is a reason why some of them haven't! Only Allah knows why, but in my heart I  believe in the 'Why' even without knowing it or seeing it.

I am happy and blessed to have people who love me and remember me and go to all lengths just to make my day special and unforgettable!

I had pleasant surprises and tearful moments that tugged at my heart and made me see how much they all love me and care about me!

I thank them; every single one of them.
I want them to know that I love them so much and that my life is beautiful because they exist in it!

Today, I also thank Allah for my life..

For my health..

For my parents and brothers..

For my friends and sisters..

For having a life that is a blessing..

For everything I have and do not have..

For who I am..

For all I am..

And one more thing,,

I had a terrible day at work today, and I felt like crying and struggled to stop myself from ruining it all!
But then,, I remembered that it is my birthday, isn’t it??

So I decided that nothing is worth spoiling my moment!!
NOTHING!!

Today I get to be the Birthday Girl..

So,,

Happy Birthday to me..

Mr. Right

How do we know that ‘someone’ is Mr. Right? How do we recognize the ‘click’ that is supposed to occur when the one of us comes across this Mr. Right?

I always ask myself such questions because I find it extremely puzzling; a mystery which I still haven’t managed to unravel completely. I know it is all about destiny and how each one of us is meant to be with someone who has been destined for us all along. I believe in this and I have no doubt about it whatsoever, but I need to understand it and recognize the symptoms, as I fancy calling it, that indicate that this 'anyone’ is the so-called Mr. Right! I need to know it in my heart and feel it totally, so I won’t have any doubts or uncertainties about the whole issue. Not knowing is frustrating!

My married friends always tell me that I should and would feel it if any of my suitors happened to be the one. In a number of cases, I did know that ‘Him’ and ‘Him’ and ‘Him’ were certainly not meant to be the one! I knew it instantly and my normal reaction was wanting to flee the place as soon as I could and never look back! I always found reasons and faults to say no! And I never regretted it in any of those times, with none of those suitors. I could not see myself stuck for eternity with any of them, and I know now that I was absolutely right about my intuition, for if I was meant to be the one for one of them, I would have ended up saying yes a long time ago!

Still, I always ask myself the same question, over and over again, how is it possibly plausible that I’d know someone is not Mr. Right, but I would always be doubtful whether someone is Mr. Right? How is this ever understandable or acceptable? How do I make myself grasp the logic or non-logic in it? Can somebody please tell me?!

Some say it is all about the heart; claiming it’d always tell you if the ‘One’ was in close proximity! But what if your heart never does know?! What if it just cannot know that and does not have that radar by which it would recognize the symptoms and signs and indications? What if you were always driven by sense and sensibility? What if your way of looking at it is simply by pinpointing the positives and negatives you see in the guy and weighing them against each other to know whether it is a ‘YES’ or a ‘NO’?? Is that even credible or guaranteed to work all the time?

     

Okay, so I am sweet, romantic, emotional, dreamy, and full of hopes and expectations about my Mr. Right, but where do I go from here if my heart still refuses to give me the sign I am looking for to know and to believe in my story of ‘Happily ever After’?! Is there some kind of fault in it or what! I mean, for those of you who know, really what is it all about? A flutter of the heart or a mental click in the head?

And,,

If, despite all the uncertainty, a day would come when someone-anyone- comes along, and you think nothing has happened and no ‘click’ has occurred, but something God knows what stops you from saying NO every time you attempt to do so, does it mean anything at all?  

I am asking, so clearly I am the one who does not know!!

Daddy Long Legs

Daddy Long Legs, or 'Sa7ib el thil el 6aweel', how many of you still remember this amazing series with a wide smile on their face? I still do! And every time it comes to my mind, I get this fantastic feeling that spontaneously puts a big big smile on my lips. I was a huge fan of 'Daddy Long Legs' and I swear I would still watch it like I never did; if only they would show it again.

I cannot remember how old I was when I watched it the first time; probably at the primary school, but I can tell you my cousins, my brothers and I were all crazy about it. I remember how all of us would gather in the sitting room in my aunt's house, with that long and narrow corridor where they put the TV, and just have our eyes glued to the screen like we have never seen anything of the likes before. We would sit close to each other; well the place was so small, and the room would always look crammed with the whole bunch of us there, not wanting to move an inch or take so much as a breath. Oh my God, how I would do anything to have that only memory come back to me.

You know what the funny thing was? My aunt; at seeing us so taken with the story, would always comment that the whole show was not meant for kids, and that the storyline itself was not at all suitable for our age! Of course our normal reaction was to look the comment over and continue being mesmerized and spellbound by Daddy Long Legs!

Though this is now nothing but a beautiful memory of my amazing childhood days, I still feel as though it is not totally gone. It is locked somewhere inside my mind and heart; providing me with a unique sense of belonging and making me complete in a strange way! It is a symbol of pure innocence and peace to me; it reminds me of the anxiety-free times! Back then, we cared about nothing but having fun and watching TV all day and playing and having a blast simply by enjoying ourselves to the utmost.

I can tell you that we were completely taken with 'Daddy Long Legs'! Of course the love story in the show was all new to us; made us girls beam stupidly all the while! We were all tears when the final episode arrived! I was like: Oh My God they got married and will live happily ever after!

How beautiful those days and those memories were! I find myself remembering them constantly. Maybe I will get my wish, though, and one smart channel would miraculously broadcast this series again!

Another wish on my never ending list of wishes!

Here is a reminder of Daddy Long Logs; scenes from the show, with a beautiful song in the background that says it all.

Enjoy!