March 05, 2010

Who am I??


The other day, one of my cyber friends asked me to tell her more about myself; we were trying to learn more about each other. For a few moments, I just sat there staring at the screen and thinking of what I was going to say next. I could feel my fingers going still on the keyboard in the middle of my short lived stance. I mean, it is fairly difficult to describe yourself to people, to talk about yourself from your own angle and perspective. I did feel at a loss of words at that instant, and for the first time in a while I asked myself  that one question: Who am I?

By this question I don't mean to question my personality or aim for an attempt to know myself more, or dig deeper into my soul to discover things I might not know about myself, for at the end of the day nobody knows you better than yourself! What I am trying to say here is that it felt awkward for me to search for the right words to portray myself as I should do, and make the whole picture clear and readable enough for those who do not know me in person, the people who might, at this very moment, be reading my words and wondering about the lady behind the screen; the lady who calls herself Miss Dreamer.

Well, for a start I see myself as a dreamer; a big dreamer so to speak. I enjoy day dreaming to the extent that I can close my eyes and see the future life that I would like to lead  in a matter of minutes. When I dream, I dream big. When I drift away with my mind and my imagination,  I can always come up with stories that I long to star in and turn into a vivid reality one day. I am not saying that reality ceases to exist for me, because if it weren't for my urge to use my mind a lot and analyze almost everything before putting it into action, I would not have managed to survive the cruelty of today's world, what with the marshmallow like heart I happen to have!  What I am saying here is that I am so emotional that I sometimes wish for my heart to never feel things the way it does; it  is constantly making me wish for and crave things that are said to only exist in fairytales.

It is very easy to make me happy, to make me smile, and at the same time the littlest things can turn my whole world into ashes and make me cry! Sometimes I wonder if it is a bad thing to be so emotional, so easily moved, so easily touched from the inside. Well to some people it might be, but I believe one better be passionate and sensitive than callous and unfeeling!

I do not know what else I could say about myself, because it is indeed proving difficult to elaborate more about me, about who I am! However, I cannot help but see what I want and dream about in my mind's eye. I can see myself bumping into my destiny; the man behind the mask, No Face, my knight in shining armor. I can see myself holding hands with him, loving him, needing him; the one I am still waiting for to paint my dreams with the colors of the rainbow. I can see myself becoming a mother to a cute little baby, cuddling it, holding it close to my heart, feeling its heartbeat in the very depth of my soul, laughing, and giggling, and going crazy with the kind of happiness that only such a future could bring. On top of all that, I see myself becoming a universal author; the author I have longed to become, for longer than I can even remember. 

Who am I??

I am simply a lady who has dreams, and also fears.
I know the smile,, the laughter,, yet I can sulk like a baby at times;P
I have strengths, but I do have my weaknesses as well.
I can be so yielding at times, but that does not stop me from opting for stubbornness
whenever necessary.
I am the realist, but also the biggest dreamer alive;P
(Aren’t I exaggerating a little-chuckling to myself-
I enjoy being around my family and friends to the extreme.
I totally find pleasure in snuggling comfortably under the covers to read a romantic book, and smile and laugh and even cry once I get so much into it.
I love life, and I pray for it to love me back just as much.

Who am I??

I sure am not perfect, for nobody ever is, but I like who I am, and am proud to say so. 
 

P.S: This post is especially dedicated to my friend Texan. You inspired me to write this post. Thank you dear:)

6 comments:

Twizzle said...

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,

Mashallah that was a beautiful way you described yourself :)

Miss Dreamer said...

Hey Twizzle,

Wa alaikum asalam wa rahmatullah,

Thank you sweetheart:))

Bluetiful Nostalgia said...

You made me cryyyyyyyyy!! ahem
You know why? Cause I know you for real and have the pleasure to experience all those words with you...

You are beautiful! :*

Texan in UAE said...

I'm totally flattered. Dedicated to lil old me ? I'm lost for words, I'm on my bb now and just seen this post!! Ur post brought me to tears, why? Cause this is exactly who I think u r. U whisked me away with u, I was there. I pretended to close my eyes while reading this. U took me there with u. I'm speechless, u r an amazing person! I feel connected. SubhanaAllah. I luv who U r. Don't ever change. Someday u will have that prince charming, u will have a lil one to love and giggle with, u will have that dream u dream. All my love and prayers 4 u , my special friend/sister *big giant hugs*

OmAbdullah said...

Oh that was a beautiful post! I loved every word! You should be a writer! Amazing wording.

God willing, you will have a beautiful little baby, fabulous husband and life one day soon!

Keep the great posts coming :)

Miss Dreamer said...

Bluetiful my beautiful friend,

What I know is that you are a great friend and I love you so much.

Texan,

Oh!! This time it is my turn to become tearful! I am speechless beyond recovery, and I cannot say anything in exchange for your kindness and this wonderful feeling you have given me. It is my gain to know you really:))

Hugs

OmAbdulah,

Ameen to everything you said sweetheart.
Thank you thank you thank you:)))

Love you all

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